Because eljaydaly is talking about pen names , and because art may be long but lunchtime is too short to keep me out of trouble, here is some free advice on made-up names, including but not limited to pen names.

Anyone can use a common given (aka first) name as a given name, or a common surname (aka last name) as a surname. Yawn.

Using a common given name or the name plus "s" or "son" as a surname will fool absolutely everyone.

Using a common surname as a given name suggests that the character’s parents used "summer" as a verb. Well, it did 20 years ago. Now it suggests that someone bought the same baby book as everyone else.

Using a common car name as a given name and surname suggests that you dislike Vogon poetry.

Using an uncommon car name (like Utopia Turtletop or Mongoose Civique) suggests that you dislike all poetry.

Using the same name as a given name and surname puts you in questionable company – Ford (Madox) Ford, Humbert Humbert, Sirhan Sirhan, Boutros Boutros (-Ghali) – but there’s less for people to forget.

You may have heard that a novel’s title should be easy to spell and pronounce, and not embarrassing to say. (Example: Do not go gently into that good bookstore, asking for Piers Anthony’s[1] novel "Isle of View.") This principle is highly overrated when it comes to names. See also: female characters in Ian Fleming novels.

More apostrophes are always better. This is how the Klingon language[2] became so widely spoken. (Well, that, and because Klingon is such a natural fit for villanelles and rondeaux.) Tell people to pronounce the apostrophes in your name like the Arabic letter qoph, or to replace them with "boing."[3]

Lack of familiarity with another language or culture is no reason not to steal names from it. Don’t worry about whether the name you steal is masculine or feminine, traditional or trendy, old money or no groceries. Just the fact that you stole the name shows how much you respect the culture / language. And if you used it wrong, who’s going to know? Nobody here (you are in the U.S., aren't you?) speaks whatever language they speak in China / India / Russia / Brazil / Frenchland.

That goes double if the language you’re stealing from is a computer language. Take the name St’dio Cob’bol. Who’s going to know?

(If the name is stolen from Perl, see the comment above about apostrophes, and choose additional Arabic letters as pronunciation guides for punctuation.)

Playing wildly against type with names (Ukrainian surnames in a Regency romance, Klingon names in mainstream coming-of-age fiction, a woman writing hard SF) is absolutely guaranteed to win you the affection of the masses and lots of money. Don’t do it because of your principles – do it expecting to be rewarded.

The number of R’s between your given name and surname is strongly correlated to your potential success in writing epic fantasy. Tolkien? Two. George R. R. Martin? Two. James Oliver Rigney, Jr., aka Robert Jordan? Two. Imagine what you could do with four or five.

When in doubt, steal the name of a Hemingway character. Robert Jordan, again.

Best name under which to publish your NaNoWriMo novel? Allan Smithee.

Choosing a common noun (Hand, Moon, Bear) as a surname and adding Elizabeth as a given name will grant you admittance to a very exclusive club – the American Airlines lounge at JFK.

Another strategy is to pick the surname of a writer who’s already selling well (and must be doing something right with their name), and add your own first name. It worked for Elizabeth (Greg) Bear, Cory (E. L.) Doctorow, Mur (R. A.) Lafferty, Laura Anne (Greer) Gilman, Harlan (Ralph) Ellison, Gene (Thomas aka Tobias) Wolfe, Vernor (Joan D.) Vinge, John (Aleister) Crowley, Darrell (Albert) Schweitzer, Jonathan (Lewis) Carroll, and Paolo (Elmer) Bacigalupi. You didn’t think those were their real names, did you?

If you’re stumped for names, try a dictionary of 19th century riverboat slang.

Too late in the alphabet and people will give up before they get to your books in the bookstore. Too early, and they’ll still be hopeful for better stuff than you’ve written. For most people, the "I’ve already read it" and the "I’m ready to leave" junction is around the G’s.

When in further doubt, here are some good pen names for immediate use: Pilot Cross, Bic Scheaffer, and Parker Waterman.


Yours truly,

Mr. Caveat Emptor


Notes:
[1] Anthony is, indeed, one of the middle names of Piers Anthony Dillingham Jacob, writing as Piers Anthony. Fooled you! He also writes some sort of academic stuff as Harold Bloom.

[2] Well, the second Klingon language. The first Klingon language was better for sonnets and Wodehouse fanfic.

[3] Apostrophe = boing is stolen from someone, but I can’t remember who it might be. Probably someone writing under a pen name.